I am an affected other
Welcome to thrivin’ together’s page for affected others. If you find yourself here you are most probably supporting, or are affected by someone who gambles/d in some form. This page is here to provide support and information to yourself as an affected other.
We are a woman-led, lived experience organisation offering choice, voice and change for women across the UK. This includes women who are affected by someone else’s gambling.
At thrivin’ together cic we offer support in a tailored way as we know every woman’s story and situation is different. We offer:
- 1-2-1 peer support
- Information and signposting
- Counselling and coaching
- Monthly newsletter
- Affected Other WhatsApp group – direct contact with our Affected Other Coordinator.
We also have workshops, activities and events running regularly, you can visit our Learn, Grow and Heal page to view current sessions running. All support and sessions are open to thrivin’ together members.
Meet Shoohada, the Affected Other Coordinator for thrivin’ together. Shoohada has been an affected other of gambling related harms for two decades and uses her experience to support other women on their journey.
Contact : Shoohada@thrivintogether.org.uk
Trying to understand?
If you have discovered that someone you care about has a gambling addiction you probably don’t know which way to turn. We know it can be like travelling to a new land and not knowing the language. It can be scary, overwhelming and exhausting. Having a better understanding of gambling addiction and how it plays out can help you understand what is going on and the person you are trying to help. Our priority is to meet you where you are and support you at your pace.
Reach out for support today: Contact admin@thrivintogether.org.uk
Signs of a Gambler, what to look out for:
- Gambling more than you can afford to lose
- Feelings of anger when losing money through gambling, feeling threatened
- Gambling on another day to try to win back the money lost – chasing losses
- Borrowing money to gamble
- Secretive behaviour, multiple excuses
- ‘Boom or bust’ Extravagant, generous behaviour, gifts, holidays alongside withdrawal, unable to contribute to household, daily bills
- Lying to conceal the extent and the amount of involvement with gambling
- Gambling has started to cause financial problems for your household
- Always thinking about gambling and planning how to get money to gamble again
- Hesitant to tell people about your loved one’s relationship with gambling or covering up for their behaviour to protect them
- Frightened you will be unable to pay the rent/mortgage/bill this month
- Struggling to feed the family
- Struggling to sleep or relax
- Feeling helpless, hopeless, frightened, threatened, angry, suspicious, depressed, anxious
- Loss of appetite, interest in hobbies, seeing friends
Blocking, Self Exclusion and Limiting Gambling Ads online
It’s important to know there are many ways you can stop or limit gambling to help feel more in control. We recommend that loved ones of gamblers sign up to GamStop and Gamban to reduce the risk of their details being used. Please note you cannot sign someone else up to these services without their consent.
Gambling Blocking, Software Blockers & Self-Exclusion
Free multi operator and national self-exclusion schemes
Everything You Need to Know About Bank Gambling Blocks – GamCare
How To Limit & Block Gambling Ads Online – GambleAware
Financial Support
Criminal Justice Support
Support is available to assist individuals who have resorted to crime to fund their gambling.
Criminal Justice Support – GamLEARN
Resources for Affected Others
| Abusive Behaviour Support Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA) Women’s Aid How to check what devices are linked to your mobile account How to secure your tech |
| Cultural Diversity Do it for her short film by Gambling Harms UK Breaking the Silence in South East Asian Communities animation from Beacon Counselling Trust and ARA |
| Financial Support StepChange National Debt Line Business Debt Advice Line Financial Support Line – Surviving Economic Abuse |
| Eating Disorder, Self Harm and Trauma Beat Help and support including a directory of local support NHS List of support for Self Harm Treatment options in relation to Trauma |
Group Support
Betknowmore
New Beginnings
New Beginnings was created to provide a safe space and community of support to help women recover from the impact that gambling has had on their lives. Whether you have been impacted by your own gambling or by the gambling behaviours of someone close to you.
Breakeven
Group Support
We offer a support group for Women In Need of Gambling Support (WINGS). Groups:
*Women affected by the gambling related harm of family members or friends
*Women affected by the gambling related harm of partners or ex partners
GamCare
Way Forward Program for Affected Others
Way Forward is a support group for all women affected by someone else’s gambling harm. Our Way Forward groups aim to provide a safe, supportive and confidential space for women.
EPIC Restart Foundation
Friends and Family Support Network
Currently working to develop a programme of support for those impacted by someone else’s gambling, creating a space for people to share their experiences and learning.
Helplines and Other Support Available
National Gambling Helpline – 0808 8020 133
GambleAware (find support in your area) – Advice If You’re Affected by Someone Else’s Gambling
Gordon Moody Rehab – Friends and Family Support – Friends & Family – Gordon Moody
Adfam – For Families – ADFAM
Choice
Information
A range of information and services, options to be anonymous and ability to choose opportunities and timings.
Voice
Connection
A space for women to find their voice, become part of a collective and network. A true representation of the impact of gambling on women.
Change
Opportunities
Personal and professional opportunities to develop resilience, strength and connections creating change in narratives.